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Ditch Quidditch
I
guess I'm just a Muggle.
The whole
world is waiting for "Harry Potter and the Goblet of
Fire." Kids are lined up at book stores. A fleet of jets is
ready to
whisk the books into hands of eager readers.
And I could hardly care less.
You see, I'm not into fantasy. So I don't care much for Dementors,
Polyjuice Potions, or the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
I'm a sports guy. Right now I'm thinking about Wimbledon (is this
the last hurrah for Agassi and Sampras?), the Orioles (is Cal done
for
the season?) and the British Open (will Tiger win it by 20 strokes?).
I'm not thinking about the World Cup of Quidditch.
Oh, I'll admit that J.K. Rowling has taken some of the ingredients
of our games and stirred them into a heady sports brew.
Quidditch is definitely action-packed. The dizzying descriptions
of
Chasers soaring high on broomsticks, dodging Bludgers in hot pursuit
of
Quaffles are thrilling. Throw in the Seekers battling for the prized
and
elusive Golden Snitch and you've got high sports drama.
Then there are the exciting rivalries. Gryffindor versus Slytherin.
Or Ravenclaw.
And, finally, there is all that cool equipment. I may be a Muggle,
but I wouldn't mind hopping a ride on a Firebolt or Harry's trusty
Nimbus Two Thousand.
But isn't Quidditch a bit . . . well, silly? I mean 150 points for
the Golden Snitch? A team can be stuffing the goals with Quaffles
and it
hardly matters if they don't snatch that winged golf ball.
And half of the games seem to be settled by a spell or some other
sort of magic. When soccer star Mia Hamm dances by two defenders
and
left-foots a ball past the goalie and into the net, it is magical.
But
magic has nothing to do with it.
And what about Harry? Everyone says that he's a natural Seeker.
But
what is his talent? All he does is hang on to a broomstick and happen
upon the Golden Snitch.
I like my sports earthbound. So, unlike the rest of the world, I
think I will take a pass the next time Madam Hooch says, "Mount
your
brooms."
I told you I was Muggle.
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