Fred Bowen's "The Score" column,
November 3, 2000, Washington Post

If I Ruled the (Sports) World

Sometimes don't you wish you could be the leader of the sports world and change all the things that drive you crazy?

I do. And there is plenty I would change.

Take pro football. Every week two teams of 300-pound giants battle away, giving everything they've got, for 60 minutes. Then some puny kicker comes out and wins the game by kicking a field goal.

I know it's called football, but I think there is too much "foot" in football.

If I ruled the sports world, I would move the goalpost's uprights closer together so it would be harder to kick field goals and extra points. That way teams would be more tempted to go for a touchdown instead of a field goal.

But why stop with football? There are plenty of other sports I want to change. Soccer for one. It's too low-scoring. I don't mind seeing a 1-0 game every once in a while, but it seems that too many soccer games are 1-0.

I say, make the soccer goals four feet wider and two feet taller. A bigger target would mean more goals and more fun for the fans and players.

Same thing with field hockey. The scores are too low and the nets too small. Let's get bigger nets and more goals. And while we are at it, let's make the blade of the stick a little wider for better ball-handling.

Now on to softball. Did you see the Olympic softball games? Those pitchers can fire the ball 60 to 70 miles per hour. And they are pitching from closer than kids pitch in Little League baseball.

I think it's too close. I would move the softball pitcher back five to 10 feet and give the batter a chance to get a few base hits.

Baseball has a speed problem of a different kind. The game has gotten way too slow. And it makes me mad.

My first new baseball rule would be: The batter cannot leave the batter's box between pitches. No more stepping away to adjust his batting gloves, tug at his shirt or tap the bat against his spikes. Under my rule, if a batter steps away, it would be an automatic strike. That should keep the game moving.

Golf? I think the players have too many clubs. If kids can play with six or seven, why do the pros need 14? I would love to see a special tournament where the golfers can only have seven clubs. With fewer clubs, the pros would be forced to make tougher, trickier shots.

Of course, Tiger Woods would probably still win.

I can't change everything.

WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE if you ruled the sports world? Write KidsPost, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, DC 20071. Or e-mail (with "The Score" in the subject field): kidspost@washpost.com.

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